The About Me Challenge - Day 4

Something I need to forgive someone for..

I need to forgive my best friend for letting me go, I guess. That's about it. I'm generally a " Forgive but never forget." kind of person.

Day Four - The Writing Challenge

Prompt: Crumbs of love locked inside a gilded cage.

Note: Okay, so when I first read the title, i found it a little depressing.. so I decided to make it a kind of a suicide note with first person thoughts...especially guilt. I deliberately made it a little haphazard, cause when people are on the verge of ending their lives, they don't think coherently.. in order.
Also, it kind of starts with a sad note, goes all angry and accusing, then shifts to self pity, and then, goes back to sad and then, to the End.
I think that's how it feels like. I've tried imagining it in order, but it doesn't make sense.
P.S. Any resemblance to any person is unintentional. 

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Sometimes, I feel like you want to get rid of me...see? You just don't show me.. you don't tell me everything that you once used to. It makes me feel so insecure, seeing you with her.
It IS her, isn't it? No matter how many ever times you deny, I know.. I just do. You tell me its your new job, the new city, the new everything that we need to adjust to, but really... I know better... Or do I?
I've seen you with her. I've seen it in your eyes..
I've noticed the way you now behave around me. Don't tell me I'm oversensitive and the likes of it.. cause honestly, I know exactly how perceptive I am. I notice everything. I usually just prefer to keep it to myself. In fact, seeing her just thrice, with you put things in brilliant perspective for me, thank you very much.
I'm just waiting for you to realize what you've gone and done... to realize that everything is over. 
Despite it all, I love you.

It's not just you, you know. I had found my happiness too. Yes. Away from you. You weren't what I wanted. You changed. Happiness away that's away. Far, far away from you.
He talks to me. He makes me feel so good...
I love you, but he's better for me. I don't like what I become around you... some kind of mad creature, trying to rein in her feelings. I do not love myself when I'm near you.
I love you, but it won't make me stay. I've had enough of you. And now that I've found what I want, to a degree, it's over.
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She had waved him out of their little condo, a mere half hour ago. She now sat on the edge of the thirty six floored building, thinking of ways to end everything.

A little less than half of that hour ago, everything was alright.. well, almost...
She was prepared to let go of the old him and move out, and into his place. He had called. He said he didn't want her anymore. He sent her plans... her make-believe world crashing down.

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I'm now standing at the edge. One step to end it all. End everything.
I'll be gone. Forever.
The easiest way to stop feeling... I'll finally be gone, just like you said last night. I know you didn't mean it, but it hurt. I listened to it all. Your rants and your I love yous. I can't return now. I'm beyond repair. I feel too guilty to come back to you.
You kept me well...Very well. You kept a bird locked in that beautiful, gilded cage. It was beautiful while it lasted. It is after all, the rule of nature to make us all seek greener pastures...
In my defense, I'm but human.

It isn't forgivable, and I'm not asking for any. It was my fault. Everything was. I know... This is why, I want to go away, where no one can ever find me again. I don't have to make decisions, don't have to think, not feel... not feel guilty, not feel anything... and don't have to go anywhere... just one step. Its all just a mere step away from me. All this is what I want.. What I need. It is something I can live with.
One step, and down I go..
One step, and I end. I cease to exist..
One step, and I'm sorry..

"Thank you, Thank you.. for Everything..."  She muttered to herself, hurtling down the glassy windows.

Author's note: (Just because I can..and making it another post is just too mainstream. :D )

The title. Crumbs of love locked in a gilded cage. So, what exactly makes me sad about it?Well, I think that, if you really love someone, you'll set them free...and if you really do deserve their love, they will love you back, no matter how far away you are, from each other.
I know that I love my grandfather. One day, we were talking.. (forgive my lack of coherent thought and probably grammar) .. like we did, always.. We went deep into philosophical thoughts and life after death. That was when He made me promise that I'd never cry if someone died. He made me promise not to cry when he died.. A few months later, he did..  
Well, He made me believe that the ones that truly love us, don't really leave. They're always there in our hearts. I like star-gazing. It reminds me of my grandfather. I know he watches down on me, everyday. (Another post on that, soon.)
I know some people.. People who lock up.. choke their loved ones, afraid that they'll "escape" .. Yes, I've actually heard that, right out of someone's mouth. I'd like to ask you one thing, Do you really not believe in yourself that much? Are you not confident enough in your ability to maintain a relationship? Mind you, I'm not talking mushy, meaningless, teenage "love".
Statements like that, actually confuse me and make me want to question their motives.. But being the sensitive a** that I am.. I just can't... So I keep them to myself, and usually include them in little "notes". Why, you ask? Because no one pays attention, then ;)
So, back to the prompt.. Don't lock up people you love. They'll just go away..sooner or later, that is bound to happen. Love them all you can, from a-far, like you would, a butterfly. Believe me, I tried trapping a butterfly once ( in grade 2) and it died. That made me feel so bad.. And that kind of stayed with me. Trust me, it applies to so many things.. you'd probably be too lazy to introspect, anyway.

The conclusion? I just have too much time to while away..  

- Sharma ( who needs to control her emotions, sincerely, a true Cancerian.)

The About Me Challenge - Day 3

Something you'll have to forgive yourself for.

I'll have to forgive myself for giving up on my best friend.
I'll have to forgive myself for not getting into a National Law School.
I'll have to forgive myself for crying on that day.
I'll have to forgive myself for closing my eyes that other day.

Day Three - The Writing Challenge

Note: Meh.. I'm just too lazy to actually type out everything I write. Yes, I write them all. 

Prompt: Close fast, the iron door and turn out the lights.

Hot, damp air howled in her ears as she ran down the stone steps, her white gown flying behind her. She looked pale, the chiffon leaving behind a trail of perfume. The dragon at the base of the staircase, she could get past, if asleep; but if he found out that she was escaping once again, he'd lock her up - and no amount of pleading this time, she knew, could make him change her mind. If she failed to escape this time - five plus one attempts - she decided that she'd just learn to enjoy her time in the minaret she was kept in.It was not like it wasn't beautiful. Everything there was perfect - except for that man, of course..though he kept her well..Her footsteps echoed down the empty stairs as she ran, hoping that he hadn't noticed her absence yet. He was deep into writing something on a scroll of parchment, sitting at his desk, three large buildings away from her. Searing hot air now rose up the middle of the winding staircase. Suddenly, a loud growl shook the minaret. The dragon was awake. Slipping past a sleeping dragon was one thing and running past an awake, hungry, irritable one was another. She felt her earlier bravery slipping away from her with every step she went down. The pungent dragon's breath wasn't helping either. She slipped, missed a step and tumbled down the stairs. Clawing at the edge of a step, she steadied herself, made sure she wouldn't tumble down and shakily, stood up again. She paused, thinking about all the other times she had tried to get out of this tower, back to the library she owned... She missed it terribly. This man had the largest library in the world, dedicated to her, right beside her minaret, but she wanted her own one back. She took a shuddering breath, crumpled down on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and started sobbing uncontrollably. She had lost, once again. With every passing second, she felt her will draining away, overcome with a feeling so strong - she wanted nothing more than to run back to her stone room and collapse on the bed once again. She knew she failed.After some time, she heard soft footfalls approaching her down the stairs. She could tell, he was here. It was weird, how he always knew where she was.. In fact, it was wonderful, she thought. At last.. She could go up to her room back again. He'd help her up..He came to her and held out his hand for her to take, but realizing that she was too weak, he bent down and scooped her up in his arms and started up the stairs. No dialogue passed between them. He'd usually shout.. or at least tell her off for trying to escape. But this time, he hadn't said a word. Maybe it had something to do with her tears. She never cried.He looked pale and pained - not his usual self. He carried her up to her room and laid her gently down on her bed and went back and leaned again the door frame, watching her."Dragon breath does that. A few more minutes.. and you'd have lost all your will." He shuddered.He walked to the candles, looked at her through the mirror, blew out all the lights, walked back and slammed the iron door shut on her, without a look back at her.

The About Me Challenge - Day 2

A movie that I want to see :
I have a long list..  But the first would surely be Star Wars. Yeah, I know I'm not fit to live on this planet. I haven't watched it. Then.. I'll watch this really long list of not-so-new ones.

Day Two - The Writing Challenge

Note: I know, its long overdue.. but then, what the hell? Its my blog.

Prompt: A dwindling world beneath your weary feet.

"I shouldn't have listened to him..."

She ran towards the elevator and punched the call button frantically, at least a hundred times, looking over her shoulder every second.
The automatic doors of the large building slid open and a group of men in black suits walked in, feigning calm. They were much better at it than she was. Scanning the building lobby, one of them pointed at her and whispered something in another's ear and then, the whole group had started sprinting towards her.
"No!", She thought. "I can't let them catch me..not now.. The espionage would be so wasted. The life I wanted.. No.."
The men's footsteps echoed in the empty hall, coming closer and closer. She almost froze with fear, but thoughts of her future compelled her to act. She prayed for the elevator the come down and open up right now.
As they neared her, the welcome ping of the elevator sounded, and she quickly scrambled into it, punching the button for the nineteenth floor. "He said he'd meet me there..."
She sunk down onto the thick glass floor of the elevator, heaving a sigh. She felt ten years older, all of a sudden. As she looked down at the transparent floor, she saw the cars and people on the street shrinking. The world was dwindling beneath her weary feet. She felt powerful, as the elevator rose higher up. She'd reach the nineteenth floor and then, everything would be set right, once again...and this time, she'd have money as well! She'd be rich. Very rich. Just this one little job...She'd be able to just while away her time... just deliver that one little file...
Another ping announced  the nineteenth floor. As she stood up to get out of the elevator, the doors opened, the men stepped in, pinned her against the elevator walls and snatched the file from her. One of them punched the button to the lobby and they began descending, again.

The About Me Challenge - Day 1

My favorite quote:
It would definitely be " You aren't responsible for what people think about you, but you are responsible for what you give others to think about you."

I'd say, it doesn't matter , what peole say about you, behind your back. It is left behind, anyway. It's not like it's going to matter, even if people believe that shit...

Something you love about yourself :
It is pretty hard to find something that I love about myself...I'll try, though.
So, I guess... It'd be my ability to stay calm through everything.